Torn

I heard something recently that resonated with me: “The more I’m at home the less I can give to work and the more I’m at work the less I can give to home” obvious perhaps but particularly poignant for me at this point in my life. Being a mother is without doubt the privilege of my life.  I hold it in importance higher than any other thing but I also work a lot.  This is perhaps where it gets complicated because I truly work for my family.

My husband and I decided to start a family business in an attempt to give our children a better life and teach them the value and enjoyment of a fulfilling career.  However, as I spend these hours away from my children, pregnant with my third child sometimes it is hard to keep it all in perspective.  I hope more than anything that I can look back on this crazy time and say that it was all worth it, the wild hours, the constant running, that I wouldn’t change it and I hope more than anything that my children come to respect the choices I made in our particular situation.

It doesn’t make it any easier though to be sitting stuck in traffic on my way back from filming, where I was helping a family prepare for parenthood only to feel further away from my own.  I am sure this is why I am so hands on when I am at home and why my husband and I will choose always to be with our kids over a night out or a weekend away.  I think when you become a parent you figure out what works best for your family and what you have to do to give your children the best possible life in your situation.

I decided to work really hard now so hopefully when my children are older I’ll have the luxury of being able to stay home more.  Others find working later is better; others still don’t have a choice.  But I encourage you whatever you have to do to see the positive in your situation and teach your children the importance of what Mommy and Daddy are doing.  We have to remember at home or at work we are role models and while everyone’s journey in parenting is different we all hopefully have the same goal –  being great parents and raising happy, healthy kids.

As busy people rushing from one responsibility to the next, weighed down by the weight of it all, we have to try and remember not to let this all pass us by.  When I look at my children’s grandparents they are so in the moment when they play, I’m sure more so than when they had young children.  But now they are not rushing somewhere or worrying about cooking dinner and doing the laundry; so they can truly get down and play and enjoy the moment.  I think the way to deal with our torn lives is to remember to be in the moment.  I feel like I write about this a lot. Perhaps it is my therapy or perhaps I just need reminding every now and again to be in the moment and to stop running.

So listen to some music on your way home from work, your way up from the laundry room or from the supermarket and clear your mind so you can think about the miracle and privilege of family and saver the moments because as my Nana said, “this is the gravy”.