Ten Things Grosser Than What Kate Middleton Did

Last week, I shared on Facebook and Twitter an article whose headline caught my eye: “Kate Middleton’s ‘Gross’ Parenting Move May Horrify Some Fans.” As I clicked, my mind was racing with possibilities…had Kate picked her son’s nose in public? Had an unfortunate diaper incident left her covered in poo that she failed to wipe off? What on earth could it be???

And then I read the article, and discovered Kate’s huge faux pas: “Cleaning drool off of Prince George’s face with her bare finger and then wiping it on her designer dress.“

Seriously? Now, I will acknowledge that the piece doesn’t seem critical of her parenting method, and certainly the headline was crafted to grab attention. But still: what a huge overstatement to even put the adjective “gross” anywhere near the story! It seems that most of you agree, based on the oodles of comments I’ve received on Facebook offering up tales of grosser parenting moves.

In the interest of journalistic integrity, I’ve put together the top ten things that have happened to me or someone I know that are far, far grosser than Kate’s run-of-the-mill drool encounter; would love to hear yours!

(1) Using a finger to check for a dirty diaper…and finding one. (Rookie mistake; one round of cleaning poo out from underneath my nails and I immediately reverted to the “smell the bottom” method).

(2) Finding old, dried vomit in your bra in the middle of a meeting. (So that’s where the sour milk smell was coming from!)

(3) Having a child vomit directly into your hands in a futile attempt to protect couch/bed/car.

(4) Using your coat as a kleenex for a particularly green, runny nose.

(5) Fishing dog poop out of a teething toddler’s mouth. (I’m told it was at a park, and the toddler mistook it for a candy)

(6) Diaper explosions in the car, on the chair, on my dress, in my hair.

(7) Pee in the eye (moms of boys, I’m sure you can relate!).

(8) Receiving a slobbery sneeze right into your mouth.

(9) Having a newborn spit up directly into your mouth (sometimes that little kissable smile is actually a sign that things are about to come up!)

(10) Pets that get into the diaper pail.

I could seriously list a million more. What would you add?