The Best Reason to Order In For Tonight’s Dinner

Ever come home from a busy day at work, realized it’s already 6:30, and then tried to cook a lovely homemade meal from scratch while your kids are begging for you to listen to stories about their day or to help them with their homework? Me, too. And it’s really not a good feeling. There’s this big push to get moms back in the kitchen, cooking beautiful meals that would make our grandmothers’ proud, but is all of that braising and boiling and basting actually bringing our families closer around the dinner table, or is it just taking away from super precious quality time that we could spend with our little ones?

A recent study out of North Carolina State University of 150 moms showed that while home cooked meals are once again considered to be the gold standard when it comes to being a good parent, very few moms are able to pull off a made-from-scratch dinner (especially on a weeknight) without feeling frustrated, stressed, or unhappy with the reaction of her family. You may spend nearly two hours making an elaborate meal that your kids won’t like, or that depressingly doesn’t turn out the way you wanted it to—which isn’t good for anybody. Your kids feel left out and neglected because you’re holed up in the kitchen and not able to pay attention to them after you’ve been gone all day at work, you feel under-appreciated because you went to a lot of trouble for so few rewards, and besides, you really would have rather been playing with your little boy or helping your little girl navigate the social queues of kindergarden.

So what’s the solution? Start brushing off the pressure to be the next Martha Stewart. Seriously, bless that woman, I love her, but if you’ve ever seen me in the kitchen, you’ll know I gave up any culinary illusions long ago! Instead, embrace the fact that sometimes what you think is just “good enough” for dinner is actually better for your whole family’s happiness than whatever Farmer’s Market fantasy you had in mind. I’m not saying that you shouldn’t pay attention to making sure your kids eat healthy and balanced meals, that you should never cook a homemade meal from scratch, or that it can’t work for some people, but you need to take a step back and see how your time in the kitchen affects everything else in your family’s dynamic. In my household, I consider anything I put in a pan and stir to be homemade. We often do simple pasta with a jarred sauce (a really good one, but still, I didn’t have to make it myself!) that I add a little fresh onion and garlic to before serving. Sometimes, not often, but sometimes, we order in simply because Daron and I have been super busy and really would rather be spending evening hours bonding, laughing, cuddling, and talking with our children instead of getting all worked up over who’s going to run to the store to get more arugula.

Nourishing your family is so important, but that nourishment should come in many forms—from what you feed them, to the time you spend with them. Finding that balance might be tricky at dinner time, but I promise, it doesn’t always have to be that way.