Maternity Leave Headaches: How to Avoid One of Your Own!

Maternity leave here in the U.S. certainly leaves something to be desired—in fact, we live in the only developed country in the world where it’s not legally required to offer women at least some paid maternity leave. The President is making a push to change that, and to make the United States more family-friendly overall, but in the meantime, a lot of women still face a steep uphill battle when it comes to getting time off to recover from delivery and to bond with a new baby—paid or unpaid!

The truth is that only some women (women who are employed full-time and who work for a large enough company) are guaranteed a minimum of 12 weeks off work with job protection after having a baby, almost always without pay. Those who work for smaller companies may find that their employer either doesn’t have a written, standard maternity leave policy, or that their boss will only allow a week or two at most for the mother to heal before returning to her job. All of this makes it scary for so many women to tell their employer that they are expecting (this should be happy news, not the stuff of nightmares!), because they never know what they’re up against.

I hope for the day when a decent maternity leave is guaranteed for all American women—and women everywhere in the world, for that matter!—but since that’s not today’s reality, I thought I’d give you some tips on when and how to talk to your boss about your upcoming bambino, what to expect, and what you probably shouldn’t do. This is often difficult, and your situation might be vastly different from another woman’s in another job, but I hope you’ll find these guidelines helpful.

DO look in your employee manual if you have one to see if there’s a maternity leave policy included. If there isn’t one, you’ll need to think about what you want and need for your family; but even if there is one, it may not be adequate for your needs, so think about what else you might want to ask for.

DON’T adopt the mindset that this will be a fight (never helpful!) but do recognize that you may likely get some pushback. Ask other moms at the company what they got for their leave, and find out what other companies in your field offer new moms. This knowledge will help you make the case for a fair leave policy.

DO wait to approach your boss until you’ve thought everything through first and done all your research but . . .

DON’T wait until the 11th hour. It’s often best to approach your boss close to when you start showing (usually after the first trimester), whichwill show that you not only care about making your own plans, you also care about the company and want to make sure all logistics are taken care of and set in place long before you have that baby!

DO show initiative by explaining what you can do ahead of time to make the time off easiest for your team and by being clear about whether or not you think you’d be able to be available via phone or email for part or most of your leave. If you aren’t sure that you’d be able to handle those things, by all means do not offer them! The trick here is to be clear, but not to over promise.

DON’T (and I know this one is a hard one—but here I’m speaking both as a mom and as a small business owner) promise the sun, the moon, and the stars to your boss and swear you’re committed to staying with the company full-time only to call your boss a week before your leave is over, telling her that you can’t come back, or that you want to only come back part-time. I fully understand that you may not realize the amount of time and attention your little one will need (and that you’ll want to give!) and that you may say you want to stay, and then change your mind after a month or so with baby—but if that’s the case, tell your boss ASAP. Waiting until the very last minute to tell her that she can’t count on you 100 percent puts her in a very bad position, since she’ll have to find someone new to take your place, which can take months—plus, it will leave her remembering you as an employee who didn’t respect her company enough to be honest and forthcoming. You never know who you may want to work for or with in the future (even if you think you’ll never want to return to the working world right now!) and you seriously do not want and cannot afford to burn bridges.