Could You Be Teaching Your Kid to Lie?

As I dropped my littlest off for nursery school the other day, the woman who runs the place took her from my arms, and then said, “It’s okay, Mommy’s only going to go get coffee. She’ll be right back!” I took a step back and thought, what is this woman doing lying to my child? I told her that I’d always prefer her to be honest with my little girl, even if the truth isn’t what she’d like to hear. The thing is, I respect my children (and think all children are worthy of respect!) and think that when you lie to kids, you’re only making a potentially sticky situation worse by confusing them about what’s really happening. Little ones need to trust us, otherwise, how can we expect them to take us seriously when we tell them not to touch the hot stove or to avoid other dangers in the world? In my world, it’s better to tell my little ones that I’ll be at work most of the day, but then I’ll come get them—instead of having them expecting me to show up again right after I’ve left, and being confused and upset when that doesn’t happen.

Add to that new data showing that when parents lie to their children (even over seemingly small things) their children are more likely to be dishonest. We’re not sure why that’s the case—whether they’re emulating your behavior because they look up to you, or if they’re lying to you because they don’t think you’ve earned their honesty (after all, you lied first!).