How to Raise Confident Kids (But Not Narcissists!)

How to Raise Confident Kids

When it comes to our children, it”s hard not to be a bit biased. Of course you think your kids are the best ever, because they”re yours! But recent studies have shown what many of us have known for ages: Telling little ones that they”re “special” or better than others can turn them into self-absorbed, selfish narcissists. And um, if you want your kids to have friends or to do well in life, that”s not a good thing!

But how do you navigate loving your kids and boosting their confidence without making them believe they deserve more than others? Daron and I have always been really aware of how we praise our children, because although we want our kids to be happy and feel appreciated, we also want them to understand the value of hard work, and on celebrating other”s strengths and victories—not just their online slots own. So, if my oldest son comes home from school with an amazing art project, I”ll say something like, “Babe! This is so cool, I love it. You must have worked so hard to make this! Did other kids in your class make different ones? Tell me about them!” It”s my way of letting him know that I think he rocks, but also putting the emphasis on the effort involved—not the final product—and helps him think about and reflect on the work of his friends and classmates. Plus, added bonus, it gives me a little window into his school life and friends!

I”m sure there have been times when I”ve gone a bit overboard, telling one of my children that her Lego tower was The. Best. One. Ever.—but that”s not a sentiment we really want our kids to identify with, so when I catch myself, I try to correct it right away. What about you? How do you encourage confidence without pushing narcissistic thinking? Share your tips!