The Naughty List: Would You Ever Cancel Christmas?

Would You Ever Cancel Christmas?

 While Santa contemplates his list of children who  have been naughty, and those who have been nice  —you might also be taking a look back at 2014 and  thinking about how your own child’s behavior  stacks up. Unless your kiddo is some kind of  superhuman, chances are that she’s had days where  she’s not wanted to get dressed in the morning,  announced that dinner was not to her liking, and  just generally been a crankypants. While those  behaviors aren’t ideal (and they’re certainly things  we try to teach out of our children!), my philosophy is that we should give them a break once in a while. I mean, if I’m being truly honest, there have been more than a few days this year where I haven’t wanted to get dressed in the morning, thought a nice dinner out was a total disappointment, and have been, overall, pretty difficult to be around (thank you, Daron, for loving me through it all!).

The point is, none of us are perfect. We try to better ourselves and to shape our sons and daughters into kind, cooperative, and thoughtful people—but there will be times for any of us when our limits are pushed just a wee bit too far. That’s how meltdowns happen. I try to get to the root of the meltdown so I can talk my little ones through what’s really going on and how we can make the situation better so we can both move on. That said, clearly not all families follow my example.

Lisa and John Henderson’s boys—ages 11, 8, and 5—apparently had more than one “naughty” days this year. “We would hit each other. We were fighting. Crying,” the oldest boy explained. The boys’ parents tried time outs, but said they weren’t effective enough, (see my feelings on time outs here) and so they have officially cancelled Christmas for their family. Yes, that’s right, they’ve told the kids that there will be no presents this year because of how bad they’ve been.

Now, I’m all for keeping your word as a parent and setting boundaries, but I’m also pretty keen on parents looking at their own parenting and thinking what they could do better. Who’s at fault, really, when a kindergartener acts out repeatedly? The child, or the parents who use ineffectual discipline tactics and then put all the blame and punishment on the children rather than pushing themselves to find more constructive and productive ways to discipline? I think we all know the answer there.

Christmas is about unconditional love, something that all parents should have, and lavish, on their families. Holding the holiday over a child’s head will only teach them resentment and fear, which is why I’m hoping that the Henderson’s ditch their Scrooge-like plan to cancel Christmas and get a boost of holiday spirit, pronto. A last minute appearance by Santa could really teach these boys about kindness, forgiveness, and generosity—qualities that I’m pretty sure could lead to a little more peace during playtime as well.