Would You Spend $500 a Month to Compete with Other Parents?

Parents Spending $500 a Month to Compete with Other Parents

A new survey came out showing that 78 percent of parents admit that they feel pressured to “outdo” other parents. More than that, it showed that these parents spend over $500 a month on average on extra clothes, gadgets, and parties to outshine other moms and dads. When I read about this, my eyebrows rose sky high. I mean, first of all, most parents don’t have an extra $6,000 laying about in the couch cushions to keep up with the Kardashians (although I’m the first to admit North West has amazing style). Plus, I just don’t buy it—sure there are the few moms who never got over high school cattiness, but for the most part, I think we just want to see our little ones happy, healthy, and prepared for a successful life.

Have I found myself wanting to spend a little extra so my son can go to school in a certain type of jacket, or so that he can have the toy all his friends have been talking about for weeks? Sure, of course I have. And on occasion (not all the time!) I give into those temptations—but it’s not about me competing with other moms and showing them what I’ve got and what I can do, it’s about wanting my son to feel comfortable and like he fits in. Daron and I encourage individuality (and heaven knows our kids have their own unique personalities!), but social bonds are so important as you grow, and we want our little ones to feel like they really belong, that they have some common touchstones with the other kids in their class. I think that’s only normal, and understandable to many parents, especially if you grew up being the only kid in school to be made fun of for not having a certain kind of backpack.

I’m not saying that kind of bullying is right or justifiable, it’s not, and I’m not saying that being that kid with the off-brandbackpack can’t help you be a stronger person (it can!)—but as our kids navigate the very tricky road to adolescence, it’s nice to help them identify with other kids. And to me, if that means splurging a little here and there on name-brand sneakers or some other “must-have” that he asks for, I don’t mind.

What about you? Do you think parents spend on pricey items just to keep up with other parents, or do you think it’s more about helping the kids fit in? Do you champion individuality at all costs, or do you think it helps if you can help your kid fit in once in a while with a hot-ticket item?